In his diary for the London Review of Books, ‘What I Did in 1995’, Alan Bennett wrote that one of Peter Cook’s jokes was of two men chatting. “I’m writing a novel” says one, whereupon the other says: “Yes, neither am I”. Whatever his intention was, it seemed to me like an expression of irritation on behalf of those that have had books published to those who felt they had a book in them, but hadn’t actually done anything about it. Of course, once I’d started telling people ‘I’m writing a novel’, I became haunted by it. As the words left my mouth I’d see the spectre of Peter Cook looming above the person I was talking to, with his overcoat and flat cap on, saying ‘Yes, neither am I’.
So now that I have a book out I feel a certain sense of liberation as well as a little excitement. Whether or not it’s any good, it’s an achievement and a bit of a milestone for me.
The idea for the story came from a holiday in Andalucia with my brother-in-law and his wife some six or seven years ago. It was something he did that was ill-advised at the time but which has since become a source of amusement. On the flight home I scribbled six pages of plot-line in my small notebook, what was to become the basis of Outside Lola’s.
The demands of my job at the time meant the notebook remained in a drawer for several years. Finally, in Spring 2017 I sat down in my converted shed and tried to develop a writing habit. The first couple of months went well. Then in June it was time for a holiday in Andalucia, perfect for research and inspiration. Unfortunately my wife Kate broke and dislocated her ankle, just twenty minutes before the taxi was due to take us to the airport. Writing understandably took a back seat but we organised a late Autumn holiday in Portugal to aid the rehabilitation process. On a beautiful Sunday morning she was bathing her ankle in the calm shallow waters of the Atlantic when they reverted to type and a huge wave broke unexpectedly, knocking her over and dragging her out to sea.
It was almost ten minutes before we got her out of the water. She’d suffered a tibial plateau fracture of the other leg. A young couple, a family and a surfer were all incredibly kind and an ambulance soon arrived to take Kate to hospital. By late afternoon when we left with her leg in plaster, there were forest fires raging everywhere around us. The paramedics who handled our emergency in the morning were now fighting fires as part of their dual-role. Six firefighters died locally that evening. Phone lines were still down the next morning and there was no wi-fi. Life can change in an instant and we’d been lucky.
In January 2018 I looked back over the 15,000 words I’d written nine months earlier, then recommenced writing. The time helped in a sense. My six small pages of notes were insufficient to sustain a novel and so the story needed to be developed. Gradually I managed to rid myself of the notion that I couldn't produce anything meaningful without at least a half day clear. Having stubbornly held on to this impractical ideal I learned that you could still be productive in a short space of time and all those half hours add up. Ideas gradually emerged. Yet it still wasn’t quite working as I wanted. Then I got lucky: a ‘eureka’ moment experienced at the 2017 Craft of Comedy Conference in Llandudno, just before the first accident. It arrived in a brilliant workshop on ‘Building your Sitcom Family’ presented by comedy writer Sarah Morgan and script consultant Hayley McKenzie. Although I was trying to write a novel not a sitcom, the rules seemed to apply equally well. I knew I was missing a particular type of character. It was an added bonus that I was sat next to comedian Marcus Brigstocke, who confessed in the queue for lunch that he'd had a similar breakthrough on a script he was writing.That was a turning point and it gave me the impetus and optimism I needed to crack on.
What had I found most helpful during the writing of the book? As long ago as 2011 I’d attended an Arvon creative writing course at Lumb Bank in West Yorkshire, former home of Ted Hughes, in an idyllic woodland setting. It was led by author Tobias Jones and poet Clare Pollard, both of whom were fantastic. Being with other aspiring writers was instructive and I learned a huge amount but still lacked the time in which to implement it. The Craft of Comedy Conferences were also really helpful, engaging and huge fun. It's good if you can find someone who can help take you to the next level and I attended several workshops led by writer and media tutor David Atkinson, some of which were held at Gladstone Library, itself a rich source of literary inspiration.
When you’re starting your journey as I was, writing groups are really helpful and practical - it's reassuring to be with other people in the same position and those who’ve done that bit more and whose guidance can be illuminating. Don’t underestimate the value of the support and encouragement of other would-be writers. I joined two groups and both have been invaluable. One is small, whereas WriteHereWriteNow is larger and has had a revolving cast - started by David Atkinson, it's facilitated by the groundbreaking Storyhouse in Chester. How can you not love a library that serves craft beer?
By Spring 2019 I’d finished the novel. Or so I thought. That was the beginning of several cycles of reading, revising and rewriting. Some friends gave their time to read the draft and gave constructive criticism that has, I hope, improved the final manuscript. Whether you intend to find an agent or self publish, something I’d definitely recommend is buying yourself a copy of the Writers and Artists Yearbook. As well as full lists of agents, publishers, editors, etc, it carries a wide range of useful articles with so much good advice. Not that it helped me to attract an agent! Maybe I shouldn’t have aimed for the big agencies - some didn’t reply within their target time and rejection is the default setting, some replied much more quickly than they warned and politely advised that it wasn’t for them and wished me luck. There’s no real feedback through that process but what I do know is that after a few months I was becoming impatient to see my book published, it felt like a long time and I wasn’t getting any younger. So I decided on self publication.
There are many options for self publication and ultimately I was attracted to FeedARead, an independent publisher programmed with Arts Council funding. At the same time I was lucky to find a cover designer in Roy McCarthy at Kula Studio who understood what I was looking for and FeedARead allows you to insert your own or design one using their templates. It was at this point I discovered how much I didn’t know about formatting a novel. There’s so much information out there, some of it in conflict, so lots of decisions to make. For example, Helvetica is a great font for advertising and websites but no-one uses it for a novel - it’s sans-serif for goodness sake! My draft was all in Helvetica, naturally. And despite all the books I’ve read, I’d not noticed that the first paragraph at the start of a chapter has no indent. Little things like that almost sent me over the edge. And there are any number of little such things. But I worked through it and learned a huge amount.
The disadvantage to FeedARead is that they don’t do e-books, so I’ve had to do that separately through Amazon. And now it’s out. I've already started the next one. If you have any questions about the process and think I can help, I’d be happy to hear from you. I’m certainly not the most experienced or well informed but the scars are fresh!
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